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Going Gray, Dame it

March 1, 2015

SPOILER ALERT:  If you don’t want to know what June;s hair might look like next winter, read no further.


judi-dench  ree mother in law  helenmirren            Dame Judi Dench                            The Pioneer Woman ‘s  mother-in-law                     Dame Helen Mirren

What’s up with the pressure to not show your age at any cost?  It’s a rhetorical question, that leads to an in-my-opinion  pervasive message.

At any cost, do not show your age – unless you look like a pretty young woman. 

Have you heard this message?  Twelve-year-old daughters have heard it – it sounds like look older.  Sixty-year-old grandmothers have heard it – it sounds like look younger.  And  the forty-five-year old single mom has heard it – it sounds like  you are invisible.

After my third baby arrived, I began to color my hair.  At first, it was to color up a little gray, but has progressed to color a head of hair that has been slapped silly with gray.  I adore my hairdresser.  I have not missed a salon appointment in the last fifteen years.  And if I had it to do over again, I think I would do the same thing. 

But for a while now, I have had the desire to go gray.  At first, I thought when my daughter finishes high school.   However, the desire grew stronger.   I googled “women with gray hair”, took some photos to my hairdresser, and said what do you think?  Her reply, yes, you can do it! We’ll go slow, take about a year, and no one will really notice what is happening. 

Interestingly, there was a twenty-something pretty young woman in the salon at the time I was having this conversation with my hairdresser.  She flipped her chair around, and said do it!  She gushed with excitement and encouragement.  I think it is quite possible my daughter will have a gray-haired mom at her high school graduation in a few years.


Another rhetorical question coming — could don’t show your age at any cost be just one of two equally viable options?

Going gray (maybe), damn it, dame it,



PS.  Highly recommend  As Time Goes By, Season 8, Episode 3 –  Lionel’s words to Jean in the next-to-last scene, beautiful! 

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